In a speech delivered to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce on Monday, February 7, 2011, President Barrack Obama offered up a tongue-and-cheek remark regarding his ability to make friends and influence others.  Specifically, he commented “I’m here in the interest of being more neighborly,” Obama told a crowd of CEOs at the Chamber’s headquarters, which is across the street from the White House. “Maybe if we would have brought over a fruitcake when I first moved in, we would have gotten off on a better foot. But I’m going to make it up.”  Really?

The irony of the fruitcake quip might have been lost on the Chamber crowd, but that shouldn’t stop you as an Influential Leader from receiving the underlying message.  There are several observations one can take away from the remark, all of which are Pathos Platform elements which we coach leaders on to become more influential.  Here then are our takeaways:

1.     Give and Receive – The Reciprocity platform element is the old “give and take” analogy.  I will give you something today, in exchange for receiving something from you tomorrow (or later).  This “give and take” is what organized societies are founded upon in order to barter or trade currency, intelligence and/or task accomplishment.  The expectation that you will receive without giving is not only mistaken, but delusional!  Furthermore, the window of opportunity for payback can be propped open for future repayment.

2.     Give First – In order for the Reciprocity platform element to work, you should not hesitate to go first and give, rather than look to receive.  By going first you set a myriad of occurrences into the works, and the other party will feel an overwhelming sense of obligation to return the favor and give back.  Often times, this burden of responsibility by accepting, or merely receiving an offer to give, will bear tremendous weight.  Weight which the other party might just want to unload at their earliest opportunity!

3.     Give Often – Why stop with just one obligation to repay the reciprocal transaction?  In the event the gift given is not recognized as worthwhile or valued by the recipient, you may have to give another gift.  Furthermore, continuing on a relationship by giving will provide you with much needed visibility in which the other party will not lose sight of your generosity, or presence.

4.     Give Value – We mentioned above that the ability to provide something of value to the recipient might cause you to have to give more often.  So what exactly will be of value to the other party?  You may have to approach their “runway” from several different perspectives in order to finally land successfully, but this will also show your flexibility and diversity.

As a leader, you should notice a trend in the above takeaways, namely the action of giving.  We say “action” because this isn’t meant to be a thought, or a plan, for there must be action taken in order for the leadership moment to take place.  Furthermore, and our statistics bear this out, the ability to receive as a result of giving (as opposed to that of expecting to receive alone) bears a statistically significant outcome in your favor in both the short/long term.  As an executive coach, we would also remind you that as a leader it’s never too late to begin giving.

If you think that the opportunity has passed you by to reach out to your associates and develop them, that’s rarely the case!  We’ve seen progress made even by those leaders who claimed that they were “too old of a dog to learn new tricks!”  Perhaps a little fruitcake in that doggy bowl just might do the trick so as to act more like an Influential Leader and get your just desserts/results!